"You are simply rebelling against your parents,

but you must understand that what you are doing

is against the laws of god."

(He was Catholic, like my parents.)

The second therapist said:

"You have a deep seated fear of castration;

because your father was the dominant figure

in your home and could not show his love for you."

(He was Freudian. He could not show love either.)

The third therapist said:

"Do you do this

because you want to be like your mother?

Tell me...how does it make you feel?"

(She was non-directive. No answers...just questions.)

The fourth therapist said:

"We don't know what causes this...

and we don't have a cure,

but I'd like to know more about it."

(He was a modernist...and not too well-adjusted himself.)

And the last therapist said:

"Does it make you feel better?"

And I said:

"Yes"

"Does it hurt anyone?"

"No."

"What's your problem?"